Unstoppable: 6 Strategies for Women Leaders to Succeed in Biased Systems
On International Women's Day I had the pleasure of speaking at the Voices of Women Virtual Summit sponsored by the brilliant CEO of Entrepreneurs Rocket Fuel, Kimberly Crowe. It was an incredible event with hundreds of women speakers. My talk was called Unstoppable: 5 Strategies for Women Leaders to Succeed in Biased Systems.
My inspiration for the talk were the hundreds of brilliant, talented women leaders I have coached and worked with over the years who navigate systemic bias every day. I shared the top success strategies I have heard over the years in my coaching and consulting practice. Although systemic bias is not going away any time soon - in fact, it seems we are currently going backwards - there are still things we can do as women to support ourselves in attaining the success we desire.Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
I'm sharing, below, a summary of the content I covered in my session - with a bonus 6th strategy! Although this talk was addressing women, the main points can apply to most marginalized identity groups. I have adjusted the language for broader application.
Examine the internalized beliefs you have unwittingly swallowed whole from our biased society. We are swimming in biased messages about what we should do, who we should be, how we should act and what’s possible for us based on our identity. As women, we are told we are too aggressive, not assertive enough, that we won’t succeed unless we change our style to mirror men, that we aren’t “leadership material…” If we don’t examine and root out these limiting, untrue messages, they can become beliefs that limit our ideas of what’s possible for us.
Define success on your own terms. As marginalized leaders, there are countless messages in society about what success looks like for us. Women are told: “Having kids should be your purpose,” “Be the bread winner,” “Be the caretaker,” “Stay young and pretty!” “You can -and should - do it all!” The question is: what does it mean for your unique heart and soul to be successful? Dream big, write it down, keep it in plain sight to remind yourself. If you don’t, you may be living someone else’s narrative of success and missing out on greater joy and fulfillment.
Develop a system for interrupting and reframing limiting beliefs about what is possible. One of the main functions of our brain is to keep us safe and alive. This often shows up as “inner critic” voices that tell us we can’t or shouldn’t do things because they are too risky. These voices are referred to by many names: saboteurs, gremlins, protectors...regardless of the label, they stop us from being our full, bright, authentic selves. We have to put a mechanism in place that interrupts and prompts us to reframe these thoughts into empowering ones. Develop a system that works for you and use it daily. Don’t know where to start? Working with a coach or a therapist is a great way to begin.
Find others in your identity group(s) who have done what you want to do to help your brain realize what is possible. That part of you that believes you can’t achieve the success you desire can be quite loud at times. Finding people in your identity group(s) who have attained the goals you have set for yourself is a great way to help your brain shift from “this is impossible for people like me” to “look what is possible for people like me!” Keep in mind, you may be a pioneer, in which case there is additional mindset work to do to bolster your belief that what you want is possible. The new belief may be: "I will be the first and pave the way for others."
Develop an intersectional reciprocal support network including people in your identity group(s). As marginalized leaders, we live in a society that rarely affirms our way of being. We have to be intentional about creating a community for ourselves that includes a critical mass of people who are in our identity group(s) - spaces where our social identity experiences are immediately understood, validated and reflected back to us. Remember, we need an intersectional focus. For example, not every woman shares the same experience of marginalization. On top of sexism, some of us are on the receiving end of ableism, cisheterosexism, ethnocentrism, racism, and more. To stay united and in support of one another, we have to do the work to create equity for all.
Find mentors. I cannot stress enough the power of having one more more mentors who have walked a path before you and are committed to supporting your success. I would not be where I am today if I didn’t have amazing mentors who opened doors for me, believed in me, and guided me toward my own definition of success. We need each other. The idea that success is obtained through rugged individualism is a destructive myth. Interdependence is crucial. Maybe now more than ever.
We are a long way from the eradication of systemic bias. These strategies have helped me and so many others stay focused, buffer the effects of societal "isms," and succeed on our own terms even when the system is working against us. If you are a leader in a marginalized identity group, I hope these strategies sparked an idea or two about how to support yourself in systems that weren't built for you.
As always, feel free to send me your thoughts or feedback!